


Not Afraid Anymore

by Forever_Cynical



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Heated Moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21963481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Cynical/pseuds/Forever_Cynical
Summary: Honeymaren ponders the expectations of her, whilst dealing with falling in love with Elsa.
Relationships: Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 154





	Not Afraid Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> My first story in a while so please be kind.

  
I know you care. 

I can see it in the way you look at me. The way that I can see you wanting to reach out to me. You want to take my hand. You want to take me away from the situation I’ve gotten myself in but you know you can’t. You have to stay impartial. You’re a spirit. You’re above all of this, I suppose. I wish you weren’t. I wish you could take my hand and take me away from all of this. 

But you can’t. 

And I’m too afraid to take that jump. What if the looks I’ve seen you give me are looks one would give a friend? What if I’m making it all up in my head? What if I want you so desperately that I’m just creating moments that aren’t there? I want to ask, I want to take your hands in mine as we sit by the fire as the autumn coloured leaves fall around us and ask you if I’m going mad, if I’m doing the right thing but I’m afraid of the answer you would give me. 

Even if the answer is one I want. 

I never expected to feel this way. Never expected to fall in love so fast and rapidly. My mother always told me that when she met my father, they fell in love slowly, over time and when he proposed she felt compelled to say yes. This was just the way that things are done. That was years ago now and i want to think that time has passed by situations like that but as l look at Goran and his eyes of so kind and safe, I’m not sure. 

There’s no fire in my belly like when I look into yours. 

Eyes so blue I could drown in them. 

I want you. I want your hands in my hair and your mouth on mine. I look away from him and I spot you. You’re stood talking to Yelena. She looks over to me and smiles a knowing smile and I feel afraid. Afraid that everyone might know. I’m not ashamed of who i am, but I am afraid of getting hurt and hurting others. You turn to look at me and my breath catches. Goran looks confused before turning away from me and the fire burning into front of us. He turns to me and his eyes are sad and my heart clenches. Sighing, he stands and walks away. Walks away from me. I don’t blame him. I can’t break away from your eyes. Yelena says something and you nod. You’re walking towards me and my heart is beating so fast I’m wondering if I need to shout for the healer. Your hair falls so beautifully, no longer tied back in a beautiful braid. It’s wild and free, just like you. The dress of ice sticks to every curve. You’re not smiling as you walk towards me but I can see the want in your eyes. 

I can’t be going crazy. 

You must want me too. 

And that terrifies me. 

You’re sitting next to me now and I’ve turned away to look at the fire. I’m being awkward. The confidence and sense of adventure that usually consumes me has gone. 

“Goran didn’t look happy and I’m pretty sure he glared at me, you going to fill me in on what that was about?” Elsa sounds amused. “You didn’t tell him it was me that turned his pillow to ice when he forgot about your birthday, did you?”

“I’m pretty sure he knew that was you anyway, Snowflake.” I turn to look at you and you have a faint blush that colours your cheeks. You always blush when I call you that. 

“So what was it about then?” You ask so innocently but I can’t help but feel there’s another question hiding underneath it. 

“I think we just broke up?” I shrug awkwardly and suddenly you’ve thrown your arms around me. 

“Oh Honey!” You squeeze me tight and my eyes are closing as want sweeps through me. 

“I think it was a long time coming, I haven’t exactly been the best girlfriend and I’m pretty sure I never agreed to be his girlfriend in the first place.” I sigh and break away from you. “Everything is always expected here, you make friends as kid and if you continue to be close you just get married and have kids.” I look across the fire to see Britt and Asta talking quietly. “You see those two over there, when they first got together everyone was so shocked because they had been close to two guys, it was expected for them to marry the guys but they found each other, two women...” 

“You want to be with a woman?” You question and I continue to look away. 

“I want to be with a woman, yes.” I swallow hard and turn to look at you. 

“Oh.” You seem thoughtful and I’m nervously sweating through my warm clothing. 

“You’re shocked?” I ask. 

“No, not really, I mean we have marriage between men and women, women and women, men and men, back at home.” You smile softly at me. “As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters, so who is she?” 

“Way out of my league.” I sulk and you stand up and offer me a hand. 

“Come with me.” You ask smiling. 

“Where?” I take your hand anyway, standing with you. I would follow you into the dark. 

“Somewhere I can show you, just how beautiful you are.” You pull me deep into the forest. We’re dodging trees, and I begin to laugh as how abused the situation is. 

A goddess is pulling me, an average Northuldra woman who herds Reindeers with her brother, to show her how beautiful she apparently is. Honeymaren had never considered herself as beautiful before. I never saw myself as anything special. Not like Elsa with her beautiful platinum hair, gorgeous eyes and womanly body. I am all muscle. Years of hearing reindeers, building, chopping wood giving me dry but powerful hands and muscles to envy my brothers. 

“Elsa where are we going?” I ask as she continues to drag you. 

“I suppose anywhere here.” She says as you come to a small cave. “I just needed to be away from anyone so we wouldn’t be interrupted.” 

“You’ve brought me out here to kill me haven’t you, they’ll make a lullaby about me won’t they.” I sigh dramatically, dropping her hand. “Don’t follow goddesses to caves because they’ll chop you up.” 

“And what am I going to chop you up with?” You fold your arms and arch your eyebrow, looking amused. 

“You could probably make an ice sword , am I right?” I smirk and you roll your eyes . 

“Get in the cave before I consider it.” I laugh as you follow behind me as I walk into the entrance. 

I find myself stood in a small cave, with the fifth spirit, who I may be sort of in love with, who wants to prove that I’m beautiful. It’s absolutely bizarre. 

“So I’m in the cave.” I turn and grin at you and you smile. 

“Watch.” You murmur. 

I’ll never get used to watching you use your powers. You hold your hands to the wall and I watch as a mirror of ice creates in front of me. I touch it softly and feel the cold against my finger tips as my reaction appears. I stand in my usual Northuldra garments to keep me warm. My hair tied back and my hazel eyes shine with wonder at the beautiful ice surrounding me. I watch as you move to stand behind me. You take my coat off and it falls to the floor, leaving me in a white top and my skirt. Your hands move to take off the hat and I soon watch as it falls to the floor. 

“I wish you could see you, how I do.” You whisper in my ear and I watch your hands as the undo my hair and it falls down my back.

I’m shaking as you move your hands from my hand to my shoulders and down my arms. You tighten your hold on arms at my muscles and my breathing gets faster. 

“You’re breathtaking Honeymaren .” I meet your eyes in the mirror of ice. “I’ve seen princesses from other lands, ladies who would dream to be queen.” I grow jealous slightly at the thought of the woman who must have wanted to be at Elsa’s side. “But not one of them can compare to you.” 

“I..” I begin but you cut me off.

“Goran never deserved you and you should not put your happiness on the line for what is expected of you.” Your hands fall to my waist. “You are funny, clever, strong and brave.” You move to turn me around and soon my back is pressed against cold ice. “You deserve all the happiness you could possibly want.” 

Silence surrounds us. Elsa’s hands are still on my wait and the ice is freezing my back. Everything feels intense and I’m terrified and I’m burning. Burning for more. 

“I’m cold.” I say as I move hands to Elsa’s shoulders, tracing them up her arms. 

“Are you?” Her voice is lower and I begin to tremble more. 

“Yeah, I think I need something to warm me up.” I grab her shoulders and press her to me. I hear her gasp. 

“Honeymaren.” She says against my lips, our mouths are almost touching. 

“I don’t want to be afraid anymore, say this isn’t what you want but you brought me here, you say I’m beautiful, you make me feel beautiful, want me back, please.” I gasp as she presses a kiss to just beside my lips. 

“I want you.” Soon you’re lips are on mine and I’ve forgotten about the cold against my back. The expectations of me. All I feel is you. All I want is you. 

I’m not a afraid anymore. 


End file.
